The majority opinion in the world today seems to be that every problem can be resolved by dialog. If this were so, it would be a pleasant world, without war or hunger! However, when most people enter into dialog, the results are anger and harsh words.
The Christian is placed in a difficult position. We must always present our side with respect and love, but at the same time, we must defend the Gospel and not compromise God’s Word. Scripture tells us that light has no fellowship with darkness (2 Cor. 5:14), and that we must not fellowship with companions who are walking an ungodly path, because we can be corrupted by them and lose our moral character (1 Cor. 15:33). We are in danger of being drawn in to their evil practices.
Paul knew he had confused the Corinthians in his previous letters about this issue, so he cleared up the muddied waters (1 Corinthians 5:9 and following): “I have written to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral…With such a man do not even eat.”
Of course, this last statement has caused a whole lot of consternation, particularly among parents. Paul had spoken positively about the family elsewhere and I don’t believe that he intended that parents keep their confused children from the family dinner table. As in 1 Cor. 6:9-10, Paul is speaking about the hard-core lawless, rebellious person who is identified by their behavior. The Lord is the lord of love and compassion. He came to rescue the helpless and the weak, and those who are confused and troubled. The last thing those who are experiencing same-sex attraction need to hear are harsh words from Scripture. Our job is to admonish and restore, not to condemn (Gal. 6:1).
At this point, I want to narrow the issue down to our relationships with those who call themselves “gay Christians.” Always—without exception—we are to treat those with whom we disagree with respect and love. This I have always tried to do. However, I will not engage in endless debate and meaningless talk (1 Timothy 1:4-6).
The vanishing traditional church probably would say the gay Christian is an oxymoron—that there is no such thing—either you are gay, or you are a Christian. But we now know the whole issue of homosexuality is far more complex than such a black-and-white concept. Kinsey (who gave the gay community the 10% figure) strongly believed that there are degrees of homosexuality. A “six” on the Kinsey Scale is a person who is exclusively homosexual, while a “one” is a heterosexual person with incidental same-sex attraction. Obviously we need more understanding of the homosexual issue.
The gay activists are just as black-and-white as the traditional church. They have gained recognition and equality by their staunch stand on claims of inborn homosexuality. They have the same view as the traditional church: either you are gay, or you are not. They are unlikely to want any further inquiries into the origins of homosexuality. It is because of their activism that one hundred years of study of the homosexual issue has been dumped in the trash can. Anyone delving without bias into the origins of homosexuality is shouted down with accusations of “discrimination.” Emotion rather than scientific study rules the day. The gay community has won over most of the world with their three major claims: homosexuality is inborn, unchangeable, and totally natural.
In the ex-gay community, while most do not see homosexuality as inborn, we are fully aware that we did not want our same-sex attractions. Seeing no way out, most of us adjusted to this dismal condition. Feeling lost, alone, and the target of ridicule, we naturally sought support in the gay community. Because of the unfairness of it all, many of us bonded with our gay brothers and sisters and accepted what we were told, “You are not responsible for your attractions. Therefore you are exempt from any moral code, Christian or otherwise.” Some felt guilt about our sexual escapades, but seared our consciences in order to live a life without self-accusation.
What I am saying is, there are good reasons why gay activists are the way they are. We must never forget the hardships and wounds they have endured. Does this make sexual behavior with same-sex partners right before God? No, but it is fully understandable and reasonable due to the rejection they have received from society and from the traditional church.
This presents the Christian with a very difficult choice. Do we go with God’s Word, or do we allow our emotions to rule—dismissing and ignoring God’s perspective—in order to help gay people celebrate their gayness? The gay community has gained public sympathy by skillfully presenting its position from an emotional perspective of fairness and tolerance. This has created a strong delusion in the world today, that they are exempt from God’s commands. If God made some people gay—they ask—why would He then deny them the rights to sexual expression? This delusion has taken over most of the legislative bodies of the world and a large number of churches. The claim is that gay people are not responsible for their actions. Therefore, homosexual practices are normal for them, just a natural variation in nature. Because of this naturalness, gays should be allowed to marry and raise children in the best way they can.
If you begin with a wrong premise, you will arrive at wrong conclusions! There is no proof whatsoever that God made people gay or that inborn homosexuality is indeed a fact. There is no gay gene. (In another article I will discuss the development of homosexuality.)
Enter the God factor. God’s Word is often seen as harsh, unloving, even cruel. Why would God single out a group of people who are not allowed to enjoy the intimacy of sexual expression enjoyed by every other person? What we never seems to understand is that God’s commands are not for His benefit, but for ours. God’s Word stands eternal. It will not change; it cannot be changed. His command is simple enough: no sex, outside of marriage between a man and a woman. Any sex outside these parameters is sin, fornication, and immoral. Most—hetero or homosexual—do not want to acknowledge this command. It seems unreasonable, discriminatory, and unloving.
As Christians, do we go with God’s Word, or with our emotions? There are no exceptions in Scripture. All are called to obey God’s Word. So if we dialog with gay Christians, what can we agree on? We can bring love, understanding, and empathy, but we cannot change the Word of God, which stands outside of time. The Lord understands our condition. He will stand by our side, forgiving when we fail, but never compromising His truth. Through repentance, we can be clean before the Lord. Christ came not to condemn (something the traditional church should take note of), but rather to save.
Christ gave Paul the task of establishing His church. Scripture tells us that Paul’s words are inspired by the Holy Spirit. Writing in the New Testament, Paul repeats God’s proscription against homosexual acts, agreeing with the Old Testament. His statements are directed at those who have self-identified and are identified by others as active homosexuals (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). The words are harsh, “[You]will not inherit the kingdom of God.” However, he is not speaking to those who feel troubled by their same-sex attractions nor to those who repent of their behavior. He is speaking to the lawless: those who oppose God and refuse to obey His Word.
Through a simple act of repentance, the most hard-core gay activist can gain the kingdom of heaven, and some have done just this. No one is excluded from the kingdom of heaven until after they have breathed their last breath. If anyone is willing to surrender to God’s will, repent of their opposition to God’s Word, repent of their self-absorbed attitudes and their self-pity, they will enjoy the peace that passes all understanding. They will find they have embarked on one of life’s greatest adventures.
It is never too late for repentance. Many have found new life in Christ. Was it easy to gain a changed life? No, not at all. There were many difficulties along the way, yet Jesus stood by our side as we encountered obstacle after obstacle, and He has brought us into conformity to His Word. It was His will that some former homosexuals marry and raise families; others He called to serve Him as single people. But to all, He gave an inner peace and joy that overrides the troubles of each day. Until you have experienced it, you can never know the exceeding joy of peace with God.
Frank W. Worthen